Yesterday, I was on a track to have a very, very bad day. It was a Monday, which was already hard enough, but it was my first Monday at work while my boss is out of the country (meaning many of his responsibilities fall on me while he’s gone). I don’t mind the extra responsibility, but I have to say…it seems that every time my boss is in a halfway-around-the-world time zone, something (or many things) go wrong. Well, that was my Monday.
I had a situation on my hands that didn’t seem to have a solution. We needed 13,000 envelopes to mail a customer letter by the end of this week and, at most, we had 5,000 of our most-expensive-to-print envelopes on hand. It is not my responsibility to monitor how many envelopes we have or to order them when we run out, and here I was needing a lot of envelopes that we didn’t have. I was realized that this situation, which was wholly not my fault, was quickly becoming my problem and I was likely to be given the blame if the letter wasn’t out on deadline. If I really had to, I could contact my boss and explain the situation, but there wasn’t really anything he could do. It’s not like he was hoarding 13,000 envelopes over in Europe or something.
Then, something miraculous happened. I listened to some “hold” music while on the phone with one of our vendors.
I’m learning that most fads and styles are just counter-styles of some other style, as though you are either an example of a particular style or some antithesis of that that style. Classic vs. Modern. Modern vs. Post-Modern. Grunge vs. Metal. Prep vs. Goth. Realism led to Impressionism led to Post-Impressionism. Sometimes life seems less about finding your own identity and more about deciding which societal identity you decide you want to imitate.
This all started when I really started delving deep into the identity of Lorde, one of my favorite artists right now. I mean, putting aside her age (which I think we are all obviously blown away by), the girl is straight-up talented. She gets it. She cuts through the BS injected into our bloodstreams by big brands, celebrities, Hollywood glamour…and it works. It reaches people, and we are suddenly thinking, “Yeah, girl! That’s it! We don’t need that materialistic stuff and pop music, because we’re rocking to our own jam.”Continue reading
Lately, I’ve been straight-up imagining the morning routines of people that I totally can’t even come close to imagining, and try to visualize what they’re doing or seeing without even having an inkling of where they are. Some mornings it’s George Clooney, other mornings Kate Middleton, or just some random person who slips into my mind. Maybe it’s the extravagance and mystery of their lives that makes it so much fun to pretend that I am them, seeing the world the way they see it, trying to figure out if they are the people in private that we see in public. What kind of coffee mug do they use? Do they make toast? Juice? Are they in pajamas? What’s the pace of their morning? In my mind, I walk through their morning the way they see it.
The person I spend the most amount of time imagining I am, for whatever reason, is Justin Timberlake. I think it’s because he’s spent so much of his life in the limelight and he always seems so comfortable with himself and confident in everything he does that I believe the person I see is who he really is. He just seems like a very genuine, sensitive, intuitive person; I have always been fascinated with him (although what girl who grew up in the late 90s isn’t?), and I just feel like I know who he is. I know, it is total bull, but it is a lot of fun and a creative test.Continue reading
This past weekend, Sam was gone at a golf tournament from Friday afternoon until late on Sunday. It was my first weekend staying in our new home alone without my husband, which meant I had full reign to do whatever I wanted to do. Yes, it was lonelier around here, but it was also invigorating to really think about what I wanted to do, since the whole weekend was free and I was the one to decide what I did with my time.
So…what did I want to do with a whole weekend to myself? Apparently I wanted to get up way early and chase the sunrise. (Also: I know that “sunrise chasing” doesn’t sound as cool as “storm chasing,” but just roll with it.)
Sometimes I think about how often I take the sun rising for granted. What if it just didn’t come up the next day? What if the world stopped turning overnight and we never saw the sunlight again? I think I heard that some ancient civilization lived their entire lives not knowing if the sun would return again and if they would need to spend the rest of their years in darkness. Each morning they celebrated its return so their crops could grow, they could hunt for food easier, and go about their day without darkness.
Hearing stories like that makes me want to live with greater respect and appreciation for every single day and the things it brings with every sunrise. I will cherish the good days and learn from the bad, and recognize that each day is its own entity that I cannot dictate or control: I can only choose how I spend the hours I’m given, no matter what those hours may be.Continue reading
I feel that there is a big change coming in my life. There is an energy and motion inside me that I can’t ignore right now, because I feel there is a force at work that is moving me towards the person that I am meant to be and the responsibility that I am meant to hold.
I have spent much of my life in a certain state of uncertainty. I went to college without a direction or target, but I was filled with ambition and determination to engulf everything in the world around me. I graduated with History of Art degree with the certainty of knowing that I will likely never use my degree in a practical application and uncertain if this was some big mistake and I should choose something more reasonable and safe to study (engineering, medicine, etc.). I was certain about my passions and extracurricular activities outside of class, but I was uncertain about how much I could handle and if I was passionate about any of these extracurriculars enough to make them into a career.Continue reading
Now that we are officially into our new house, we get to start doing all kinds of fun homeowner-y type things. The inside of our house remains a cluttered mess filled with boxes, which should drive me crazy, but I’m learning to be patient in putting everything away. It will happen, piece by piece, so in the meantime I’m not going to full-out stress about it.
However, the outside of the house is where we are focusing a lot of our efforts. Perhaps it’s because the lot holds so much potential, but I think the real reason is just that Sam and I love being outside and are so proud of the land we own. Sure, right now it’s got a ton of weeds and is completely overgrown, but it’s ours and we love it. Plus, I feel partially gypped out of my summer after all the wedding planning and coordinating so now that we have the time to be outside, we are soaking it in.Continue reading
I have a lot of things that I should be doing right now instead of typing this (most people have things to do two weeks before their wedding). In fact, I think because I have so many things to do, I’m avoiding them by pretending that this is the priority. Still, I feel that this is a priority, and this is what I need to do right now to keep my brain from exploding. This is the mental release that I need.
I am re-restarting to blog. I know, I know: I’ve said it before, and I said it before I said it before. But here’s the thing: this time, I’m serious about it. This time I mean it. 4rlz.
Last night I sat down with Sam and vented a bit about things in my (our) life. I admitted to procrastinating at work because I’ve been sucked into the blogosphere and am highly uninterested and unchallenged at my job. Here are the things I’ve realized, and why the blog is part of the solution (the blog is not the solution, just a piece of it):